sanctitas refused

I started this blog writing about children. This past week I had a 'friend' thing going on. This, I hope will be the last 'friend' post because the term 'friend' needs a re-look.

This evening, I had the strangest conversation. Well, not really a conversation because it was 2 people on their own one-way street. All this didn't occur to me until after the said conversation. This person, Patrick, who I have (up to this moment respected and never questioned his motives or actions) always considered a friend.

We were performing in a corporate event but he didn't acknowledge me in his usual manner. Aah, I knew why exactly but I wasn't going to ask because it was his business. Maybe he was having a bad day. Who knows? Six hours later, in a very formal manner he says, "Edwin, can I have a moment of your time once the show is done?" So, I thought, it boils down to this.

Rewind: action - reaction.

I have always been known to be vocal about how I view certain things. I make no qualms about it because that is what I do and how I feel. I am not one to put up niceties just so you can feel better about yourself. You can do the same too. I'm not going to bug you about it.

I watched a play that Patrick was in and there came a point where I plucked up the nerve to walk out before it ended. I was told he was incensed. That's how I knew he had something to say to me today. He's also pretty vocal.

Now the conversation. He started with, "I'm talking to you as a friend." Okay, is there any other way a friend should talk to another friend? It was about 10 minutes long this convo that we had but there were circles. There was one funny thing he said,
"Did you know when you walked out..."
"I went to the toilet." I said.
"Well, anyway, it made one actor trip on stage?"

Now it's my fault that the actor wasn't focused on doing his job and I can never go to the toilet again.

Every other sentence of his began or ended with 'as a friend' and I was waiting for the moment when we could actually talk as friends. It never came.

I can't remember when my friends last told me that they had to speak to me 'as a friend' because we just talk. And if we do something the other doesn't agree with, we just leave it at that because that's how it is with us. It's your own choices that you make. Friends allow you to make these choices. For example, I have friends who have never been to the theatre and never will because it's not their thing. I am not about to enforce subscription to my way of life. If you don't like it, then fine. You do what you want, I'll see you at the bar later.

However, does this work the same way if 2 friends work in the same industry? It does if one doesn't start with 'as a friend.' Patrick's wife came up to me and simply said, "So, why did you walk out that night?"

Do we have to reaffirm our friendships to each other? Why the pussy-footing?

This Saturday, we have another corporate show together. Awkward as it was tonight, I will be talking to Patrick and will tell him how I feel. Whether we talk as 'friends' I don't know. Let's see how I begin my sentence. Inverted commas?